We’re giving you permission to quit! Let go of these three things to better enjoy your time with kids

Image by Tuna Ölger from Pixabay

To all you parents out there, do you ever feel like parenting isn’t going exactly the way you had hoped?  Do you find yourself stressed more often than relaxed when you’re around the kids? Does just the thought of planning activities to do together take too much energy?

Parenting will always have its stresses. It’s inevitable.  There are so many things to keep up with, all while worrying if they’re staying safe and healthy and hoping that whatever you do today won’t scar them for life as adults.

But, one thing I’ve learned is that you are never able to predict what a child will and will not remember.  You’d be surprised at how they like to bring up that one time their dad made them multi-colored pancakes stacked up to look like a hamburger, but they struggle to recall an hours-long trip to a local museum (true story!). 

I believe what makes some moments more special than others is not how elaborately planned or educational and “enriching” it may be, but rather the energy that they experience – good or bad.  They remember how you treat them, how you react to them, how safe they feel, how loved they feel, how much joy they experience.

That said, it’s my opinion that the greatest gifts you can offer to your children are not necessarily elaborately planned experiences that ultimately leave you stressed and depleted, but rather those simple moments where you can relax and be present with them.

So in our next series of posts I’ll be sharing simple activities that require little prep work outside of gathering or shopping for supplies, so that by the time you’re ready to go you’ll actually have some energy left to enjoy your time together! 

But before we get there, let’s lay a few ground rules on how to make those experiences even better.  You might call it your permission slip to let go of expectation and obligation, and focus more on enjoying your time together. 

Let go of expectations 

The greatest determining factor on whether or not you will enjoy something is usually related to the expectations you have ahead of time.  So instead, go into each experience expecting neither the worst nor the best.  Revel in the fact that literally anything could happen!

Maybe the movie you wanted to see was sold out so you’re forced to pick something else that turns out to be just as great!  Or, maybe it’s absolutely horrible and you spend the rest of the day ranting together at how ridiculous it was. 

Maybe you planned to share something with your kids that you absolutely LOVED as a child, but 5 minutes in they are completely disinterested.  That’s ok!  You’ve just learned something about your child.  You’re learning what they like and what they don’t like. Don’t take it personally. I mean, do you love all the things your parents love?  Probably not, but that doesn’t mean you love your parents any less!

By not overreacting or getting upset when things don’t go as planned, not only will you have a better time, but you’ll also set a valuable example of acceptance and adaptability. 

Let go of feeling like you always have to do “kid-friendly” activities

Another key to genuinely enjoy time with your kids is to let go of the obligation to constantly do “kids” activities with them.  While you’re the ultimate judge of what’s appropriate for your child based on their personality and ability, experiment with pushing boundaries and exposing them to activities aimed toward kids maybe a year or two ahead of their age group. 

By testing those boundaries, you give them room to grow, mature, and find their strengths. Kids always want to feel older, so by exposing them to more grown-up things in a safe environment you’re also showing them that you respect them as people and not just “kids”.

Plus, the more challenging the activity the more interesting it can be for you as an adult.  And, the more you enjoy an activity the more engaged you’ll be which makes for a better experience for everyone.

This could also mean doing activities together that they can grow with like sports, the arts, cooking, or helping out with DIY projects around the house.  These activities aren’t exclusively for kids and allow you to share an experience that you can both get into.

Let go of feeling like you have to be the creative one all the time 

We all know that kids’ attention spans can be short, but at the same time they don’t tire of doing the same things over and over again – if they enjoy them.  So don’t stress out trying to come up with new and exciting things to do together all the time. Again, embrace what they love and let go of feeling guilty just because you didn’t come up with the best activity ever that’s somehow educational and active and doesn’t involve screen time and keeps their interest for hours, all at the same time.

I was too young to remember this, but I’ve been told that I went through a phase of watching “The Wizard of Oz” literally every day for a long time.  I apparently even told someone my name was “Dorothy” and I do recall having a “Wizard of Oz” themed party for my fourth birthday.  Eventually I grew out of it and moved on to “The Little Mermaid”, but I’m sure that kept me occupied for quite a while – screen time and all. 

To this day I love singing and musicals, and I can still sing along with all those songs.  I even ended up getting a degree in vocal performance, so I’d say all those hours watching “The Wizard of Oz” and Disney Sing-Along Songs videos weren’t such a bad use of time after all.  

So give yourself a break, and trust in what your children already desire!  Let them figure out what you’re going to do together from time to time. Make a mental note of their favorites (which will probably be easy because they’ll keep asking to do them), and keep those in your back pocket whenever you don’t have the energy to plan something new. 

Now, are you ready to have some fun with your kids?  Whatever you end up doing, keep these ideas in mind, and if you find yourself getting stressed see what you can let go of.  Then get out there and have a great time.